So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
