I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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