Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
