Dual....:-)
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
