I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
My ass is underappreciated
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.