:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
