Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty