He disabled his match.com account in front of me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn