I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex