I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?