Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i just had sex bonerless

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  (518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn
  Replies (84) Good night (1754) Bad night (12299)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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  (434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup
  Replies (63) Good night (1588) Bad night (3828)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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  (608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c
  Replies (32) Good night (1618) Bad night (5603)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead

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  (336): I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead http://tfl.nu/oo5k
  Replies (19) Good night (1600) Bad night (4757)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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  (678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr
  Replies (18) Good night (2251) Bad night (4186)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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  (630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7
  Replies (18) Good night (5553) Bad night (2085)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.

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  (309): ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet. http://tfl.nu/oxv5
  Replies (12) Good night (6026) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.

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  (443): she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs. http://tfl.nu/nz73
  Replies (13) Good night (8172) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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  (859): she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery? http://tfl.nu/4aiq
  Replies (24) Good night (6643) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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  (503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy
  Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

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  (765): It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin http://tfl.nu/0j6s
  Replies (3) Good night (977) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (451) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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  (614): The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!?? http://tfl.nu/bmvr
  Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (1957)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

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  (616): She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday http://tfl.nu/c1kw
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o

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  (901): I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o http://tfl.nu/nklr
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (237)

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