Small penises have feelings too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
