Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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