haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize