thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
