he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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