My first STD was from a foam party
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he thought i was a dude.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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