Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize