i already hear my dad disowning me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
