i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
