your thong is hanging out like whoa
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
