if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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