and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
