I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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