Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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