We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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