how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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