He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
