yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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