Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
