I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
