my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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