I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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