saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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