He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
