I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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