Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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