Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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