i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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