I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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