everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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