Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
