It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just blew my weed a kiss
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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