im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
