he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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