I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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