why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
