just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
