i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
