escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
