Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
