Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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