yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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