I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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