Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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