Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
