He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
