I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
