I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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