Sponge bath it is.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
