Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
