Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
