I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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