When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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